4 Tips for Finding a Therapist
A client recently shared that her boyfriend told her to stop bragging about her long-term commitment to therapy. Humbly, this woman has been a client for over seven years. She was sharing with her boyfriend the benefits of therapy while strongly urging him to seek counseling of his own. His response was interesting. He asked her not to brag about finding someone she had connected with, explaining that this is harder to come by than she has realized. And it is not because I am the best therapist. I just happen to be the best therapist for her, at this time.
Finding a therapist is hard. Where do I start? What do I look for? When I finally find someone, what do I even say? It’s rare we enter therapy at a time of bliss or at the first bump in the road and the act of doing something can feel overwhelming.
So, how do you find a therapist and start therapy?
Tip #1 – Who will you be comfortable connecting with?
While some studies have concluded that things like therapist gender do not have a large impact on treatment outcomes, the therapeutic relationship does. Yes, I encourage you to think about things like therapist gender, age, religion, and sexuality. But I also encourage you to think about what qualities and characteristics will be needed for you to feel safe and comfortable. Are you someone who needs to be asked probing questions? Does a soft voice and affect make you feel more heard? Logistically, do you prefer an evening in person appointment or is a virtual session during a lunch break what will work best. Some therapists are more directive in their approach creating a back-and-forth dialogue while others listen more intently allowing the client to lead the session. Consider creating a list of what characteristics will match you best.
Tip #2 – Give yourself a brief understanding of therapeutic modalities to find a specialist.
Therapists are not one size fits all. In practice today, most practitioners utilize an eclectic approach combining several different modes of therapy based on the client’s needs and the therapist’s own personality. However, there are still specialties and unique approaches for each practioner. There are many ways to handle things like grief, trauma, anxiety, depression, etc. Do a little research. See what type of therapy would work best for you. Some types of therapy you may want to research:cognitive-behavioral therapy, integrated family systems, ACT, or dialectical behavioral therapy. Finding someone who specializes in a therapeutic modality that matches your needs can create an increased level of comfort and success.
Tip #3 – Learn about several potential therapists.
Getting a recommendation from a friend or family member can be a great start to creating your list of potential therapists. However, sometimes what works for your friend may not work for you. PsychologyToday.com is an excellent resource for finding a licensed provider. Practitioners are not only verified, but they create a profile that highlights their views on therapy, specialties, and what to expect. Even if you prefer a list provided by your insurance company, you can review those therapists before contacting them. Many therapists utilize review sites now, like ZocDoc.com, where current or former clients can leave reviews sharing their experiences. Unfortunately, not every therapist you add to your list will be available so creating a list of three to five potential matches gives you several options.
Tip #4 – If at first you don’t succeed, try try again.
Creating the therapeutic relationship takes time and trust. Most therapists offer a free phone consultation. Take them up on this! You want to see if you feel comfortable speaking with them. Use this as an opportunity to share a little about yourself but also ask questions about their practice and views of therapy. Sometimes the first, second, or even third may not be the best match. That is ok! This is an investment in yourself. Try not to get bogged down by the need to share everything or even know exactly what to say during your first session or two. If it fits your personality, be prepared with ideas or goals. If that isn’t you, then the therapist will guide you. I am a believer that the needed information is always shared.